I HAD A FRIEND / I KNEW A GUY *

I once had a 'friend' many,many years ago who was about 20 and had sold his firdt car to move to the big city and seek his fortune...still looking 45 years later...it's gotta be somewhere. Being carless was turning into a real bummer so I...I mean he decided he needed a set of wheels but having a very limited budget had too do some very careful shopping. One night in the laundermat I...I mean he saw an ad for a car on the bullitin board. It was for a 1956 chevy.
I...I mean he...oh hell,I tore it off and went to the payphone, you remember those...no cell phones then,in fact no push button dialing yet, and called the number and arranged to see the car. The asking price was a hundred dollars, but after explaining that I only had a hundred and would need money for unsatisfied judgement (remember this..instead of insurance you paid 20 bucks and if you had an accident the government cover it and then put a lien on your soul not to mention everything you owned) and licence plates (yes plates, no stickers yet).
I paid the 75 dollars we agreed on and I...he headed for home and got about halfway there when I...he saw the flashing red lights in the rear view mirror. pulled over and the cop approached my car looking somewhat baffled and maybe a little cautious.Maybe it was the one headlight fastened on with a piece of tin fromm a tin can and a couple of selftapping screws.
When I rolled down the window the cop informed me my new car was on the wanted list for unpaid tickets. I had to follow him to the cop shop while he verified that I had just bought the car and was not responsible for the tickets. Not an auspicious beginng to my new mobile lifestyle.
I had a lot of fun with that old car, the tires were bald,the master cylinder lealed ,the tappits knocked like a typing pool and I'd have to pull the valve cover and adjust them everyfew days but what the hell I was mobile.
One problem I had was that on the steet where I lived there were never enough parking spots so that if you got home on the late side you might have to park a street or two over or up.Being just 20 in the big city this was pretty much a regular occurance for me. Ocassionally I...he would forget where I parked...this is getting confusing... and have to go searching in the morning. On one particular morning I...he being a little green around the gills as a result of something ingested the previous evening, could not for the life of me...him (find my...his old chevy and eventually gave up and caught the streetcar to work rather than be late intending to launch a more intense search that night. The best laid plans etc.,etc. I believe shuffle board at the local watering hole waylayed the search that evening and I deci...he decided to postpone the search 'til the weekend.
The weekend came and went without finding the car in spite of a thorough search of the whole neighborhood.The problem now was what to do about it. In spite of my affection for the old car,someone stealing it would almost be as ridiculous as someone stealing your trash on garbage day.How could I go to the police,aside from the obvious...who would steal that old clunker,how could I explain actually losing my my...his car. They might have the unmitigated nerve to question my condition when I...he drove home and parked that night.
There was only one thing to do...keep my own coucil and keep looking. Everytime I drive into the city now,low these 45 years later I keep one eye open for an old 56 Chevy covered in dust...it's gotta be there...somewhere.

The Funny Side of 55

If there is one thing I have learned through the aging process it is that the one thing that improves with age is a persons sense of humour. That is not to say it's the only thing that improves but to me it's the most valuable. I am now able to look back at past embarrasments, foibles and just plain dumb things I did or saw and laugh about them. Seeing as how I now get this perverted enjoyment from remembering lifes little catastrophes or what seemed like catastrophes at the time I thought I would 'blog' a few to you. Of course those that I post will not all be mine but also some that I was just witness to (or perpatrator of...I have always enjoyed a good practical joke).

MUSINGS AND MEANDERINGS

Why are there so many more door knobs (if you know what I mean) than there are doors.

Have you noticed that the easiest way to find a misplaced tool is to go out and buy a new one...as soon as you get home with it, there's the lost one sitting right out in plain sight.

RULES TO LIVE BY

Never run out of coffee or toilet paper...in that order.

Never ask your boss for a day off...tell him/her you are taking the day off.

Never leave an opening, it will be taken...see above.

It's always better to be early than late...unless it's for your own hanging.